Problem With Authority

“You know, Smith, you’ve got a problem with authority.” Mike Massa, assistant principal at my high school, was about to suspend me again as he jammed his finger into my chest. In one of my greatest lines ever, I said, “No, Mike.” (I made an effort to call all the school officials by their first names.) “I don’t have a problem with authority. Authority’s got a problem with me.” I smiled wide, and he pushed me hard against the wall and ordered me out of the building.